‘on the other side of maximum fear are the best things in life’

Everything that Charlotte said in her previous blog I absolutely agree with (apart from ‘Tim’ read ‘Steve’!)

The difference is that I am STILL in absolute denial.  It did strike me on Friday that when thinking about the weekend runs (I was already one behind and so planning my last ‘long’ run for Monday) – that I actually hadn’t got the time to rejig the schedule. This is it.

So after a great week in Pembrokeshire where I did do one 3 miler much to the amusement of the sheep – and lots of coastal path walking – which must surely count? And a weekend with Grandma – who spent a lot of time dwelling on safety (“remember Boston?”) And Steve’s sister who kept telling me about the people from Newbury who died due to dehydration/over hydration. I did my ‘long run’ of 6.5 miles on our return on Sunday.  (When did the long run that become the short run become the long run again?)  It felt dreadful. Every injury I have ever had – plus others I haven’t even thought of, made an appearance.  So now I am doubting the wisdom of the taper. If I feel that bad after a week of tapering just for 6.5 miles – how am I going to feel after 2 weeks tapering during 26.2? (still cant bring myself to think about it being next Sunday!)

Charlotte, Laura and I are going to the Expo on Thursday to pick up our numbers.  I am in control of timing as I am the only one working in the morning.  But I just cannot work it out.  Even though I am looking at the timetables – I cant compute it.  If I do that – it will be real.  It was traumatic enough putting my name on my vest!  Even that is now hidden away again.  I’m thinking that I should start putting my stuff out in readiness – I don’t want to.  I should be thinking about what I need – I don’t want to. I should be reading final instructions, making travel back up plans, buying my supplies.  Nope, nope and nope.

My sister-in-law from Canada (thanks Julie) sent me an inspirational video by Will Smith about fear (I would include it but cant work out how to!!).  It was to do with sky diving.  I don’t know if she meant it as a reminder for when we did a charity parachute jump for MIND (appropriately!) or as a simile for the marathon – but that’s how I’ve taken it.  Its all about the crashing fear we have before an event – and how that can ‘ruin our day’.  But how afterwards we get the most amazing feelings of accomplishment  …………  ‘on the other side of maximum fear are the best things in life’

So that’s what I’m going with.

3 more short, easy runs, lots of carbs, and preparation.

I’m going to look at those timetables again now!




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